currying favour, or not

The Gnomads are getting used to life in the UK. The Gnomadette doesn't like the cold, but enjoyed the snow. The Gnomad does not like the swingeing taxation and the usurous duty on petrol but likes the effectiveness of the health service. Yes, the Gnomad is aware that many Britons don't like the health service and complain about it a lot, but they really should try living somewhere where there isn't one and where an individual has to pay for everything. Perhaps that would change their minds.

A case in Point, the Gnomad was required to go for blood tests. This could be done either at the doctor's surgery or at the local hospital. an appointment at the surgery was available in one weeks time, or the Gnomad could take himself off down to the blood test lab at the local hospital with a bit of paper and have it done on a first come first served basis. So off the Gnomad went, piece of papaer in hand to the relevant bit of the hospital. Arriving there just before 10am Gnomad took his number from the roll, #61, looked at the display #40. Oh dear a long wait. Gnomad sat patiently amongst the Stout but Aging Yeomanry of Britain who were universally discussing either their latest soap opera/tele-series or complaining at the wait, or in many cases both. At 10.38am #61 was called in, the Gnomad's blood was taken painlessly and professionally in a clean environment by cheerful and competent people. Most people seemed to think that a 40 minute wait (slightly less, actually) was bad and a sign of a decaying service. But think about it, 21 people had been seen in less than 40 minutes, that's more than one every two minutes. That's good by any standards.

Something the Gnomads can't get used to is British curry houses. One of the reasons for choosing the current Gnomad habitat was the large population from the subcontinent in this town. Bound to be good curry there. However, so far, the various curry houses the Gnomads have tried have all been rather disappointing. Nothing bad, nothing to complain about really, but just not very exciting. Many of the dishes have been bland and characterless, lacking in the lively fiesta of flavours the Gnomads have been used to. Not just not very spicy but not very anything. It struck the Gnomad today why this is.

In the Middle East the curry houses are invariably aimed at the ex-pat labourers, Indians, Nepalis, Afghanis, Pakistanis and others from the subcontinent, who have left their families behind are working much harder than any one could reasonably expect in conditions that westerners would deem intolerable and living off practically nothing because everything is sent home to send the children they hardly ever get to see to school and provide a decent life for the various other relatives in the extended family, so they will all have a better life. The food these people need is good, wholesome, nourishing food in large amounts like their wives and mothers make, at a price they can afford. The curry house is not just a meal its a gastronomic visit home and, for many, a meeting place and support network for disconnected people far away from all they hold dear.

In the UK the curry house is a place for the locals to have a jolly evening out occasionally. A not too expensive taste of the slightly exotic that is not too demanding on the taste-buds but different enough to be fun. Thankfully, the Phall stuffing lager lout showing off how macho they are by how far up the Scoville scale* they can get (and how far down the IQ scale they can reach) seems to be a thing of the past, so curries with no flavour except chilli heat are also going out of fashion. Many new curry houses (and Thai restaurants too) seem make a very promising start with full flavour foods, no-holds barred spices and a real taste of "back home". Unfortunately these do not last long or they rapidly tone down the flavours and spices for the very real economic necessity of making the product for the available market. This can happen in as short a time as two weeks. The Brits it seems, really don't like spicy food.

Immigrants to the UK tend to be able to bring their families with them, and this is a good thing, but it does mean that much of the culture they bring with them stays in the home and the British public seem to get a watered down version, if they even bother to try to get any at all. The xenophobia cultivated and encouraged by many right wing groups adds to this lack of sharing of culture. This is a real pity as Britain has always been a trading nation with connections all around the world. Britain has always been fortified by and gained from from the assimilation of new people with new ideas and different cultures. The Gnomads have not yet noticed anyone from the sub-continent actually eating in a British curry house as yet, except for a small group of children eating what appeared to be chicken nuggets and rice. The children bore a striking resemblance to the two waiters who in turn were so alike they must have been brothers. Surely this says it all, the children eating at the curry house had English food (albeit with rice, not chips) because, presumably, they could get real curry at home.

The Gnomad was truly appalled recently to see armed police in a well known superstore in middle England. Policemen with sidearms, bullet proof vests, no 1 grade haircuts, intervention suits and assault boots used to only be seen at airports and guarding politicians and heads of state. Now it appears they are becoming commonplace. Gnomads mother, who happened to be staying at the time, asked the policemen what they were doing there. "Just a bit of shopping, we're on our break" came the reply. How this country has declined since the Gnomad lived here before. It is not so many years ago that the armed police had to keep their weapons in a locked box in the boot** of the patrol car and could only remove them on the direct permission of the chief constable. How sad it is that civil discipline has descended so far that this is no longer considered a realistic option. What worries the Gnomad is that if the police are routinely armed, criminals will habitually arm themselves too and there begins the slippery slope.



* the Scoville Scale, a measure of the hotness of chilli peppers and chilli based products
** trunk, for any American readers.